Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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