OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
