The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
