How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
