The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
