Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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