How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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