I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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