I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize