this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
