i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
