I think my vagina is haunted
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
