Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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