Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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