You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
