The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
