why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
