The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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