So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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