I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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