new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
