Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
