so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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