You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
