just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize