I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
