I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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