Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
