So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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