he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
