Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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