i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
