No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
