There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
