So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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