Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
