He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize