Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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