Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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