WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
