I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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