Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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