i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
