Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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