So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
