if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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