Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
