I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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