how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
