could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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