I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
