So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Randomize
