there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My bed smells like the plague
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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