Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
