Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
