Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it because I queefed?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize