Where is the hickey?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
