"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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