I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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