I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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