Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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