i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
