Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
