I must be too annoying 4 u.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
