Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
