Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
