my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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