Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
