dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
