I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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