That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
