Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
