I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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