I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
