We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
