so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
