I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
