I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Screwed.edu
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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