and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
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Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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