tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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