I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Randomize
