Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
