I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
