Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
People in love make me want to vomit
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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